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The Secret To Being A Calm Mom

Going From Angry Mom To Calm Mom 

Tip 1: Say What You Do Want

It can be difficult to not just shout emotionally whatever needs to change, however you and your little will be much happier if you calmly state your expectation before the crazy arises. Set both of you up to succeed by always saying what behaviors you do want rather than what you don’t want. Most children under 3 actually can’t process negative commands, so literally cannot do what you want. Try saying “please keep the marker only on the paper,” rather than “don’t color on the wall.” You’ll feel like they’re listening way more & you’ll feel like a calmer mama!

Tip 2: Internal Mantras AKA Check Your Thoughts 

How you think about what your child is doing will reflect in how you treat your child. Therefore, we need to change when we are finding ourselves irritated. When you find yourself thinking “they’re really doing that again” or “I’m so annoyed right now,” stop yourself and think positive. For example you can think to yourself “actually I’m really not bothered” or “that actually isn’t a big deal.” Sometimes we need to choose our battles and realize what’s really worth the stress.

Post a few daily mantras to start shifting your thinking. For some encouragements you can check Encouragements For The Overwhelmed Mama. Start simple with a few like “I’m feeling calm” or “I control my inner peace” and slowly work up to more specific mantras about you and your family. It is helpful to mantra around behaviors your child does that are pet peeves or a stress trigger for you. One I use is when my little randomly screams at the top of her lungs- “I feel calm. She’s just exploring her voice.” Using a mantra around the behavior will keep you from getting worked up and reacting in an undesired way.

Tip 3: Decide Each Morning How You Will Speak To Your Child(ren)

 Make a list, or at least a mental list, of how you’ll respond to common issues with your child for the day. For example, if you know that your child is a tantrum thrower, decide in the morning that you will keep your calm and address their feelings calmly and kindly and not take the tantrum personally.

Tip 4: Care For Yourself First

All right, I’m sure you’ve heard this on repeat now because it’s all the rage on social media right now, but it needs to be said. You can only be the best parent when you are feeling your best. This means feeling healthy, mentally and physically. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies are linked to depression and anxiety as well as irritability. Also try getting a food sensitivity test, food sensitivities can cause irritability as well. Exercise and getting outside daily are both great ways to relieve stress and feel better.

Tip 5: BOND BOND BOND

Pay absolutely no mind to people who say you’re going to spoil your child. You literally can’t love on your child too much, research has confirmed this people. Hold those sweet babies (or jumbo kids) any chance you get. The more you touch and bond the more you will trigger the release of oxytocin in each other and the less stressed both of you will feel!

The real secret to being a calm mom is trying out the different approaches, finding what works best for you and your family then sticking to it! You got this Mamas.

For more support and tips check out 5 Tips To Be A Better Parent.

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15 Comments on “The Secret To Being A Calm Mom

  1. This post is absolutely fantastic. So eye-opening and so easy to follow.

  2. This is such an important post. If we do not take care of our own wellness and mental health, mothers will have a very difficult time caring for their children. I love the idea of choosing your attitude and saying a mantra each morning. That certainly starts the day off well.

  3. Thank you for this! I think learning to be a patient mom has been the hardest thing I’ve done. I definitely see the benefits to them having a patient parent vs explosive parent.

  4. This is so important. It’s also such a great sense of support in a way , to know that other parents struggle with and need tips in how to stay calm, cause sometimes it is just so hard!

    • Very true! I think we all need reminders and support! I’m a parenting coach and still have to check myself and make sure I’m keeping my calm!

  5. Great post! I especially agree to number 5 on your list. Bonding with and loving on your children is so important in order to have a solid relationship with them!

  6. Tip #1 is so essential for me, and I think it helps my toddler understand too! He behaves REALLY well (most of the time!) and I think part of it is because of reframing any redirection as positive. It really works!

  7. I love this post – I try my best to always be calm but it doesn’t always work. I think taking care of yourself is a big factor because if you take some time for yourself, it makes it easier to stay calm – I’ve started doing that every morning , getting up a little before my kids to have a cup of coffee before the chaos of the day starts and I have found it has helped my patience immensely!

  8. I needed to read these tips today. I especially love the bonding tip! It is so important to make that relationship and connection.

  9. Self care is so important in every aspect of your life. When I don’t find time for myself I find myself extra anxious and quick to anger

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