Going From Angry Mom To Calm Mom
It can be difficult to not just shout emotionally whatever needs to change, however you and your little will be much happier if you calmly state your expectation before the crazy arises. Set both of you up to succeed by always saying what behaviors you do want rather than what you don’t want. Most children under 3 actually can’t process negative commands, so literally cannot do what you want. Try saying “please keep the marker only on the paper,” rather than “don’t color on the wall.” You’ll feel like they’re listening way more & you’ll feel like a calmer mama!
How you think about what your child is doing will reflect in how you treat your child. Therefore, we need to change when we are finding ourselves irritated. When you find yourself thinking “they’re really doing that again” or “I’m so annoyed right now,” stop yourself and think positive. For example you can think to yourself “actually I’m really not bothered” or “that actually isn’t a big deal.” Sometimes we need to choose our battles and realize what’s really worth the stress.
Post a few daily mantras to start shifting your thinking. For some encouragements you can check Encouragements For The Overwhelmed Mama. Start simple with a few like “I’m feeling calm” or “I control my inner peace” and slowly work up to more specific mantras about you and your family. It is helpful to mantra around behaviors your child does that are pet peeves or a stress trigger for you. One I use is when my little randomly screams at the top of her lungs- “I feel calm. She’s just exploring her voice.” Using a mantra around the behavior will keep you from getting worked up and reacting in an undesired way.
Make a list, or at least a mental list, of how you’ll respond to common issues with your child for the day. For example, if you know that your child is a tantrum thrower, decide in the morning that you will keep your calm and address their feelings calmly and kindly and not take the tantrum personally.
All right, I’m sure you’ve heard this on repeat now because it’s all the rage on social media right now, but it needs to be said. You can only be the best parent when you are feeling your best. This means feeling healthy, mentally and physically. Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies are linked to depression and anxiety as well as irritability. Also try getting a food sensitivity test, food sensitivities can cause irritability as well. Exercise and getting outside daily are both great ways to relieve stress and feel better.
Pay absolutely no mind to people who say you’re going to spoil your child. You literally can’t love on your child too much, research has confirmed this people. Hold those sweet babies (or jumbo kids) any chance you get. The more you touch and bond the more you will trigger the release of oxytocin in each other and the less stressed both of you will feel!
The real secret to being a calm mom is trying out the different approaches, finding what works best for you and your family then sticking to it! You got this Mamas.
For more support and tips check out 5 Tips To Be A Better Parent.