Mothers Supporting Mothers
We all know the saying if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, but what about if you have something nice to say? I feel we live in a compliment and support deficient society. Some may have the opposite view and think we compliment too much and complimenting is a new thing we’re doing that is “ruining our children,” but I disagree. While, I don’t think it is very healthy to fill your children with false praise (hello confused little narcissists), I do think women, especially mothers, have to start complementing each other more. One time someone told me I was a cool mom (how basic right?!), but it truly made me feel validated in motherhood. I thought “oh my god, I’m not coming off as a complete disaster?” It truly made me feel like a better mother, which in turn REALLY MAKES ME A BETTER MOTHER.
What would we look like as mothers if we had more shared and supported pride in our roles as mothers?! What compliment would change your view on this messy life of motherhood? Who would’ve known I just needed to hear that I seemed like a cool mom. If you have something kind to say that you truly mean, just say it. You really may be validating a new mom and giving her that extra little boost of confidence she needs to really own her new role of motherhood. Look, I know all the arguments, and sure we should be secure in ourselves and find our own path of self validation, but, please, let’s be real. Motherhood is rough territory to really feel sure of yourself, especially in the age of perfect insta moms and the never ending stream of parenting dos and don’ts. If you have something nice to say, please, just say it.
In the current design of western society, mothering is something that often happens in a home secluded from society with just the mother and children. I truly believe this is not what mothering is suppose to be or should be. We need connection with other humans, especially other women. We need to feel connected and valuable within society and no matter how much we love our children, they alone cannot provide that. However, if we begin to shift motherhood to something we experience with other women with the support of other women, mommy burnout, feelings of worthlessness, and a the loss of sanity will mostly float away. So let’s be the change and forget the norm and really just start connecting with each other. Spread the love, we all could use it.
5 Books Moms Should Read
(That Aren’t Parenting Books)
This book is great to gain a perspective of how Parenting forms our children’s world and how they view the world according to how we describe it to them. I think it’s also an important story to understand all our children really want from us is love and approval and beyond that they are willing to forgive our imperfections.
Girl Wash Your Face is a great motivational book about motherhood, life, accomplishing goals, and balancing it all. It is a relatable, light and funny read that has a lot of suggestions and guidance on improving yourself as a person and mother. Great for a working mom.
As one of my favorite writers, I think this is a must read. Not as light or easy as the other suggestions, but definitely a great book for a deeper reflection on the mother and daughter relationship.
As a busy mom, I love that I can just pick up this book, open a page, and find a relatable quote or poem. It really helps with the “am I losing my mind?” of motherhood. It will make you laugh, cry, and say “oh my God, I know.”
Michelle Obama talks about a lot of issues mothers face from infertility, balancing a career, and fitting in healthy eating as a family. I love how even though she’s a powerful and accomplished mother, the book and her motherhood experiences feel so relatable. The book will empower you to pursue your own happiness and fulfillment while also deciphering what’s best for your family.
Motherhood by Sheila Heti
Hunger by Roxanne Gay
“We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are”. – Max DePree
I am so excited to pursue this passion of writing and motherhood with a community of amazing parents.
I am so grateful for the support that has lead me to have the opportunity to share such a beautiful and mess journey.
My hope for this blog is to connect with other mothers, show they are not alone in this journey even in the most ugly difficult and dirty parts, and encourage the not so beaten path of crunchy motherhood and alternative parenting.
My crunchy parenting has arrised out of years of caring for others children, a background in psychology and mental health work and most importantly a Master’s degree in Child Development focused on Infant and toddler mental health, so pretty much everything I encourage in the parenting journey is backed by current research around how our babies grow.