We all know the saying if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, but what about if you have something nice to say? I feel we live in a compliment and support deficient society. Some may have the opposite view and think we compliment too much and complimenting is a new thing we’re doing that is “ruining our children,” but I disagree. While I don’t think it is very healthy to fill your children with false praise (hello confused little narcissists), I do think women, especially mothers, have to start complimenting each other more. One time someone told me I was a cool mom (how basic right?!), but it truly made me feel validated in motherhood. I thought “oh my God, I’m not coming off as a complete disaster?” It truly made me feel like a better mother, which in turn REALLY MAKES ME A BETTER MOTHER.
What would we look like as mothers if we had more shared and supported pride in our roles as mothers?! What compliment would change your view on this messy life of motherhood? Who would’ve known I just needed to hear that I seemed like a cool mom. If you have something kind to say that you truly mean, just say it. You really may be validating a new mom and giving her that extra little boost of confidence she needs to really own her new role of motherhood. Look, I know all the arguments, and sure we should be secure in ourselves and find our own path of self-validation, but, please, let’s be real. Motherhood is a rough territory to really feel sure of yourself, especially in the age of perfect insta moms and the never-ending stream of parenting dos and don’ts. If you have something nice to say, please, just say it.
In the current design of western society, mothering is something that often happens in a home secluded from society with just the mother and children. I truly believe this is not what mothering is supposed to be or should be. We need connection with other humans, especially other women. We need to feel connected and valuable within society and no matter how much we love our children, they alone cannot provide that. However, if we begin to shift motherhood to something we experience with other women with the support of other women, mommy burnout, feelings of worthlessness, and the loss of sanity will mostly float away. So let’s be the change and forget the norm and really just start connecting with each other. Spread the love, we all could use it.